Vgm051, 65

I am just a guy who decided to be celibate 5 years ago after my best friend who was my boy friend died of a heart attack. I gave up the whole gay lifestyle. I was never comfortable in it anyway. I've always questioned my decisions in coming out because I just didn't seem to fit a mold they all seem to think I should be in. I wanted a life inside of the church too but at that time I didn't seem to fit that mold either. Later after the death to justify my life in Jesus I need to be celibate. Some people understand where I am coming from and most do not. It's not something I've shared with other people at my church either. I don't have many friends other than the people I know at church or at work. I want friends who are curious about how I am doing or what's going on in my life. They also know that I am celibate and I am not looking for S-- or a relationship other than a deep friendship built on common things we've built together over time. These friends also know that I identify as a gay man too. Just one that is off the market.