The Mind and Celibacy

[midnightrider55_PREV (deleted)]

The mind can contain many things both good and bad. I know that celibacy is a choice that can challenging mentally but a powerful and willing spirit and the willing support of good like minded people and faith in God can set this up to be just fine. A friendship without S-- is the most wholesome thing one could ever do. They say the mind is a terrible thing to waste, but it is wasted all the time because ---- and S-- cloud the very vision humans need to survive. Mental toughness is definately needed because society says this is not ok. However, those peole who let S-- and ---- serve who they are will have to live with themselves because it is they who decide on what way they want to take. These are my opinions and I could live with whatever comes up because I am expressing myself freely as is my right. Any comments are welcome, however, feel free not to be under any pressure to do so.

[oddmanout]

`"A friendship without S-- is the most wholesome thing one could ever do. "

I agree!

[islegirl]

I am in full agreement. Of course there is nothing wrong with a s----l relationship but for some, it is not for them. The media put pressure on us all to 'perform' on a daily basis, and if we don't live up to this impossible image, we are considered strange, there must be something wrong with us. Even the medical profession seem to think that pills or councelling is the way to go. "We must have a libido" we are all told.
I enjoy life without any s----l contact. Of course I like male friendship, going out for a meal, a drink, the pictures but there is always that age old niggle in the back of my mind - 'when is payback due?'.

islegirl

[catiefaye]

`I also agree that a friendship without S-- is the most wholesome thing two people can do, but that it goes further than that. It has to be out of the mind and out of the will. If either of them is in conflict about it, if the feelings rise up and intensify to the point that it disrupts their time together, it might not destroy the friendship, but I think it degrades it.

It doesn't take what I would call 'mental toughness'. I think it takes mental clarity, which I believe comes as celibacy is practiced. I will go more into that in the Spirituality secton of this forum.

Celibacy for me is so much about integrity. Just not having sex, if your mind is still going through it, is not what I would call celibacy. So, for instance if one includes masturbation, to me that's not practicing complete celibacy. But that can be a phase for those who are transitioning. That's funny - 'Transitional Celibate'. LOL But it might work as a label for some who struggle still.

I feel so much more personal empowerment. I love it. And I hope I make many celibate friends. Not one person from here has contacted me.

These forums are pretty sleepy. I hope more will interact soon! We need each other!

[goldthread (deleted)]

I am re-investigating a lot of these issues for myself lately. I am especially interested in non-Christian positive perspectives.

[thehighroad]

`I don't know if I would say to exclude S-- from a friendship is wholesome. A prerequisite for the maintenance of a healthy, intimate relationship is friendship. But I do agree that an individual's state of mind has to rise above the level of appetite and urge in order to become a complete and fulfilled person.

[nishaswirl]

thehighroad wrote: `...an individual's state of mind has to rise above the level of appetite and urge in order to become a complete and fulfilled person.



Well said.

My celibacy blog --- paramourinwaiting.wordpress.com

[catiefaye]

thehighroad wrote: `I don't know if I would say to exclude S-- from a friendship is wholesome. A prerequisite for the maintenance of a healthy, intimate relationship is friendship. But I do agree that an individual's state of mind has to rise above the level of appetite and urge in order to become a complete and fulfilled person.



I was surprised to see you include S-- under the heading 'friendship'. I prefer to use the term 'friendship' to mean 'not including s----l intimacy'. When I state that I'm looking for friends, it assumes that is without s--. Is there another word? Do people generally believe that when people here state they are looking for friends only that that might include sex? If someone says, "We're just friends," do people think that might also mean they're romantically involved? If so, I need to find a new word! Quick! lol