Peterson515, 51

Divine Abandonment At 39 years of age I decided to go to college, and now at 41 I am well on my way! I sure do wish that I had done this in my twenties, but I guess that it's better late than never. I enjoy it, but being a 41 year-old Sophomore does make me feel like even more of an outcast than I usually do. I know that we are all different to some degree, but I am also fully aware of the extreme importance that S-- plays in most relationships and I am simply not a s----l person (I consider myself an asexual celibate), therefore I feel like my only hope in finding a woman to spend the rest of my life with is if she is also not a s----l person, but even then it seems like there remains several more issues... finances, location, lovability, compatibility, and the list goes on and on. I sometimes ask myself why I haven't married yet and the truth is that I have never even been in the vicinity of a marriage proposal let alone the offering up of one. I still believe in "meant to be" though and that in a world of 3 billion women there is probably one or two who I am compatible with. Most people probably think that the idea of "one person and it was meant to be" is silly but these people are probably compatible to four fifths of the world's population, for some of us though this is simply not the case, but abracadabra!!! Spiritual development is life's ultimate purpose trumping all wants, desires, free will, and even truth itself (initially, in the early stages. I believe so anyway, it justifies all of the myths, "metaphors", illusions, allusions, and delusions that seem to be able to reach us from our original state of ignorance and move us closer and closer into the "incomprehensible" as we let go and abandon ourselves to the unseen, unknown, unprovable, and intangible Truth where we live, breathe, and have our being) and so I guess that what I'm trying to say is that sometimes our greatest blessings come to us disguised, but also realize that to a very large extent, I'm just rambling lol